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Thursday, July 4, 2013

The Lone Ranger Vs. The Minions - It Just Wasn't A Fair Fight

Well that epic battle between Universal Studios Depicable Me 2 and Disney's The Lone Ranger didn't turn out to be much of a battle after all. The Minions will win the battle of the movie box office and the hearts of movie viewers hands down. It won't even be close.

Disney might have had a fighting chance if had actually made a good movie with the Lone Ranger but the reviews that have come out have been some of the most scathing movie reviews I have ever read (and quite entertaining as film critics try to one up each other in explaining just how bad this movie is). Check out the reviews on rottentomatoes.com

And as I posted of on MiceChat this morning, Bob Iger must have nightmares about hundreds goggle wearing yellow minions with pockets full of cash running a muck and destroying his 4th of July weekend.

Here is a sample of a Lone Ranger review from Mick LaSalle of the San Francisco Chronicle.

"The Lone Ranger," produced by Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer, is an action-movie bloodbath for a children's audience. It has horse manure jokes for the kiddies, as well as scenes of an Indian tribe getting wiped out, a posse of rangers getting shot to death and an intimate interlude in which a man has his heart cut out. In the latter case, you don't actually see the heart being ripped from the body, just the sound of the cutting and hacking.

But put aside the notion that children shouldn't see this film. No one should. "The Lone Ranger" is a movie for the whole family ... to avoid. It represents 2 1/2 of the longest hours on record, a jumbled botch that is so confused in its purpose and so charmless in its effect that it must be seen to be believed, but better yet, no. Don't see it, don't believe it, not unless a case of restless leg syndrome sounds like a fun time at the movies.

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