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Sunday, July 28, 2013

The Next Trip To Disneyland

My sister and her husband stopped by the other evening. I haven't seen her in person since our trip to Disneyland last April (but through text messaging, we sometimes are very much joined at the hip). Her husband brought up the subject with dinner conversation - "when do you (meaning me) think you will be up for another trip to Disneyland?" - paraphrasing to some extent. My response was something like "not sure - we'll just have to see". Inside, there may be another answer.

When I get asked the same question at work about when is my next trip Disneyland, I usually give a slightly different answer. "I hope we are able to make another trip in November." I don't know why I say that but maybe because talking about Disneyland at work is just that - talk. When you talk about going to Disneyland with people you might actually go with - then the talk is taken up a notch to a more serious level. It's best to be non-committal. I love going to Disneyland in November just before Thanksgiving. With Disneyland decked out in holiday trim without holiday crowds, it just starts the season off in a very a special way. A November trip? It's just talk - but somewhere inside of me it may also be a Hope and a Dream, recalling the title  of a Jackson Pollack painting.

As I've mentioned earlier in this blog, we are now taking care of Mrs. DisneylandTraveler's elderly father who suffers from Alzheimer's Disease. He requires almost constant attention because he has virtually no short term memory. He's generally a kindly fellow - he always ask how I'm feeling out of concern - of course in the span of a single day I will be asked how I'm feeling at least 20 times because he does not remember asking the question or me answering it. He will also ask at least 3 or 4 times tonight when dinner will be ready even after he has eaten dinner and he will say he is going to bed and say "see you manana" at least 4 or 5 times - then go to bed only to be back up looking for when dinner is gong to be ready. Constant attention. When are we going to Disneyland? The answer could be that we may have already made our last trip.

There is nothing admirable in all this - the giving up of one's personal life to provide for the care of another. Life dictates circumstances as Mrs. DLT and I realize that these are the cards we've been dealt with for the time being. And if truth be told, I haven't always dealt with it very well. At least I have a job as my outlet and sometimes my excuse. For Mrs. DLT, taking care of her father is all there is - day after day - with only moments to have time for herself. 

Sometime in the not too distant future, the talk within my family will come up about the next trip to Disneyland. And Mrs. DLT will say that I should go. We've done this before. I went to Disneyland without Mrs. DLT just after my older sister passed away with just my younger sister and my nieces and another time I went with just my younger sister after she went through a bout of personal and health issues. But trips to Disneyland just aren't the same without Mrs. DLT so the thought of going without her, I try to push away. There are just to many memories that we have shared there. Without her, while Disneyland is still nice, everything becomes much more shallow. We've had our share of arguments at Disneyland when the shear exhaustion of the place turns happiness into crankiness but we have also had the best times of our lives there and if there is something to shoot for in life it's to have a great time the person you chose to spend your life with.

The next trip to Disneyland? Who knows? It's the past trips that have been so special and I'm thankful for all the wonderful memories.

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