"But I Don't Want To Be A Pirate...."

The "Pirate Ship" Columbia
A MiceChat Dateline Disneyland Photo

There's a classic episode of Seinfeld where Jerry mistakenly agrees to wear a puffy pirate styled shirt on the Today Show because the person who asked him to wear the shirt spoke so softly that he couldn't hear what he was agreeing to do. When he found out that he really did agree to wear the puffy shirt on network TV has his classic response in a child like like voice was "...but I don't want to be a pirate....". No, not every boy wants to be a pirate.... thank goodness,

At the end of September, Disneyland had a Limited Time Magic promotion for Pirates week. At a cost, Disneyland would deck your kids out as swashbuckling buccaneers and spend a day leading the pirate life. Disney has made a lot of money on this pirate theme from the great Pirates of the Caribbean ride, to the subsequent blockbuster movies, to the pirate merchandise, to the special dress your kids up as a pirate customers set-ups that have popped up in different areas of the park.

Kids love to pretend. But even for Disney, a little lesson should be learned from history. The classic pirates of the 15th and 16th centuries were pretty much murderers, robbers, plunderers, rapists, and alcoholics. Most died very young primarily at the hand of another or ravaged by disease. It was a hard life, a dangerous life. Maybe someday, a real pirate movie will be made, a movie not based on tales of the high sea and romanticized fantasy but grim depressing story of the lowest scum of the earth who would kill someone else at the drop of a hat.

But I don't want to be a pirate.

Jerry Seinfeld and his puffy pirate shirt.